Get the manicure, buy that boat, watch another episode, and splurge on those heels! Self-care, am I right???

or

Meditate 5 times a day, hike uphill (both ways), practice hot yoga, only eat the locally-sourced organic, and don’t forget to Instagram the process! #Self-care, am I right???

What is self-care, really?

What Self-Care Isn’t

Self-care is not an unattainable, obsessive, and guilt-laden list of tasks that you feel like you “should” be doing. This unhealthy ideal of self-care leaves you feeling anxious, defeated, and pressured. This self-care marketing feeds into your perfectionistic and achievement parts that want to perform so hard for a sense of control.

Self-care is also not a free-for-all frenzy of self-destructive and indulgent behaviors. This equally unhealthy take on self-care is like riding a roller coaster - you experience a shortly-lived, gratifying hit of dopamine followed by a prompt drop that leaves you feeling empty, discontent, and powerless. Instead of control, this version of self-care is fueled by avoidance.

What Self-Care Can Be

Self-care is an ongoing practice revolving around a mindset. A mindset that prioritizes taking a proactive stance in your emotional, physical, and mental health.

Sometimes self-care is getting a manicure or meditating. It’s less about the activity and more about the intent behind the action. A manicure can be used as an avoidant distraction, or as a time to slow down and sit in the potential discomfort of being still and connecting with yourself - only you know the difference.

Self-care means showing up for yourself in ways that aren’t easy. It sometimes means short-term discomfort, for long-term growth. It involves balance - checking in with your motives and values and letting those inform active choices toward greater health. This might look like scheduling that doctor's appointment, getting to bed at a reasonable time, or having a hard conversation with a loved one.

Self-care isn’t drastic or judgmental, but slow and steady actions toward sustainable health.